I was just at SM Megamall the
other day to check out their wedding expo.
The first thing I said to
myself as I entered the lair filled with matrimonial assortments was “holy crap”.
So wedding planning isn’t just
cheapening up to save 150 thousand pesos and letting nature take its place.
I entered a lair where a person
spending 50 thousand pesos isn’t that ludicrous. I saw emphatic femmes and
their equally-concerned men browsing caterers, photographers, jewelers,
musicians, and reception.
The girls were giggling in glee
while the men were just interested on getting out of the place.
One thing’s for sure – our
battle plan now is to seek help because after three weddings, a baptism, and
godfathering someone in the sacrament of reconciliation, I’m going to make sure
that I get the right reinforcements to survive this situation.
Before
you check out the clip, let me tell you the backstory.
Noong
nagpunta kami ni Cindy sa Pansol to celebrate my birthday, sinabi
ko sa kanya na from March 4 to December
31, 2011, may itatanong ako sa kanya and pagdating ng araw na yon, all she
needs to do is say yes.
Last December 2011, I found out that I will
be an uncle and my sister and her boyfriend need to get married ASAP. My parents were busy planning for the
wedding and it wasn’t my moment to mess up. Nang nagiging okay na ang
preparations, kinausap ko ang nanay ko kung meron siyang kakilalang alahera. Ang
sabi ni ermats meron daw kakilala si Ate
Angie. Nang pinasok ako ng parents ko sa Channel 4 almost a decade ago, nakakasama ko si Ate Angie sa mga
kopihan at inuman. In fact, there was a time that I crashed at her place
because I was too wasted to go home.
So
nagpasama ako sa nanay ko papuntang Ongpin.
This
was around December 28.
It was
my way to include my mother sa aking mission to find Cindy an engagement ring.
I remember when I was five, hinaluglog namin ang Quezon City and Manila just to find Mr. Yum. Kung natatandaan niyo yung Jolly Train (isa siyang Jollibee
toy ng mga around late 80’s), si Mr. Yum na lang ang kulang and she was nice
enough to waste time, money, and effort on my luho.
There’s
another awesome thing about my mom. She has this extreme gift to sway people.
Nang tatlong beses na bumagsak ako sa Medicard
exam sa GMA because 140/90 ang blood
pressure ko, I called her in and chinika niya yung doctor. All of a sudden, the
doctor concluded that I am suffering from white
goat syndrome – or yung sobrang neryos resulting to high blood pressure.
When the doctor okayed me, nagpa-BP ulit ako. My BP was 120/80.
Astig...
Anyway
sa isang jewelry store sa Ongpin, it was like playing good cop and bad cop.
Ma’am okay po yan.
Sus baka peke yan!
Ma!
Hindi po ma’am totoong may
karat po yan.
Sus baka naman niloloko niyo
kami!
MA!
Medyo
nakakahiya at first but the end justifies the means and I won’t say the actual
price but let’s just say I kinda had a forty percent discount.
Plus
binulungan ako ng alahera na nakakatuwa daw nanay ko.
I
agree.
Pagkatapos
naming maghiwalay ni ermats kasi she has to go to her work, biglang nag-sink in
ang lahat. Syet, I have a timebomb! Ang tawag ko sa engagement ring ko ay
timebomb because when I show this to Cindy, I want her to explode with
emotions... pero yung mga emosyon na pabor sa akin.
Ang
unang tao kong sinabihan ay si Geist
nang nagyayaya siyang makipag-inuman via text. He’s kinda like the pro
wrestling manager I never had. And then of course alam na ni Ate Angie and nong
nagkita kami I hugged the holy hell out of her. And there’s Ate Jinky, my sweet and caring yet evil
mentor, who nang sinabi ko ang plano ko nang umalis na kami sa bahay niya was
like a deer in front of the truck in shock, went teary-eyed but kept her
emotions checked kasi I told her that it was a secret, and threatened me that
if I make her my ninang, she will beat me senseless.
Ahihihi.
Then
came December 30.
Gusto
ng parents ni Cindy na sumama ako sa kanila na umatend ng fiesta sa Talisay, Batangas. I brought my
timebomb with me just in case. Sinabi sa akin ni Cindy na a week before niya
akong sagutin, nagpaalam muna siya sa parents niya.
I
wanted to return the favor.
Throughout
that day, naghahanap ako ng tiempo.
I
scored that chance when Cindy, her brother, her sister, and her sister-in-law
went to Talisay Lake to fish. This opened up an opportunity for me to state my
case. Nilabas ko ang case ng “timebomb” pero hindi ko pinakita ang singsing. I
believe the talk went well.
January
1, 2011.
Kausap
ko si Cindy sa phone ng kinagabihan nang may sinabi siya. Hindi ito yung mga
exact words pero more or less ganito ang nangyari sa conversation.
Na-boldyak ka.
Ha?
Bistado ka na.
Ha?
Kanina tinanong ako ni Daddy
kung nagsabi ka na raw. Ang sabi ko “ano”? Ang sabi niya kung nag-propose ka na
raw ba? Ang sabi ko “hindi pa”. Tapos biglang nagkwento na lang siya nang mga
pinagusapan niyo sa Batangas...
Hoy Cindy! Hindi ko alam yan!
Saan mo naman nakuha ang kwento na yan!?
So sinasabi mong sinungaling
ang Daddy ko?
Ngeesh.
Sa
kasal nina “those-beautiful-lawyers-that-cannot-be-named”,
nanghingi ako ng advice sa mga kaibigan ko. Ang sabi ni Evilbrain sa akin ay to make the proposal formal. I then asked for Athan, Vlad, Marc, and Manuel for
insights. I then lobbied to Cindy for an overnight trip to some place awesome where
we can watch the stars as I slip the ring on her finger to no avail.
But
then I remembered something.
I have
a gift.
I like
to feed on a bad situation and alter it to my advantage.
So
while sinasabi sa akin ni Cindy na magpunta na lang kami sa Balai Indang sa Cavite kasama ang
sister niya, I had other ideas.
Dadalhin
ko siya sa La Mesa Dam Eco Park. And
then take her to other hotspots sa buong Metro Manila in a way to clean out all
the good destinations in Metro Manila so we can concentrate on planning trips
away from the metro.
You
know what? Sa mga pinalano ko, La Mesa Dam lang ang natuloy.
And
that trip led to this.
Yes, I know La Mesa Dam is crap compared to a weekend getaway pero I think I have a lifetime to make amends. If you
think this clip is cool (or not), wait ‘til you read the 17-page love letter I gave her na
naka-print sa isang matigas na cardboard paper where I chronicled our ligawan
stages.
Ito
pala ang mga excerpts ng love letter:
Ito
ay isang kwento na pwedeng mapamana sa iyong mga anak.
Correction.
Sa
ATING mga anak.
Naks.
Ito
ay kwento ng isang nilalang na nagkaroon ng kwenta ang buhay. Ito ay sa
kadahilanan ng isang machong babaeng na sobra kung mag-exercise na siyang nagbago
ng diwa niya.
Patay
na patay din pala ito sa kanya.
Para
sa mga nakikibasa, intindihin niyo na lang ako. Ang kausap ko talaga dito ay si
Cindy hindi naman talaga ito para sa inyo kaya hinay-hinay na lang sa mga
comments.
Kung
kayo ang target audience ko, wala kayong ganito kasi hindi kayo ganun
ka-importante sa akin.
Before 2012 started, I was at Kamias, Quezon City partying with my Coffee Club peeps. These are the guys that taught me most of the things I know about the environment I am in at the moment. Back in 2002, I was just a mere sperm of a writer. Yeah... I said that. But hey, look at me now. Sure, no thanks to the
current administration, a lot of my friends are suffering from late paychecks,
zero benefits, and a lot of work-related stress but hey... hopefully the next
administration will give importance to the government employees... in ALL
government agencies.
Anyway, this is our annual get
together where people of different occupations gossip, report,
unleash insults, and harbour awesomeness.
